Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Movie Review: The Adjustment Bureau

I always believed that life is nothing but a big cause-and-effect. You win the game because you trained hard, or you're just too awesome. If you fail, then sorry, you just have to try harder.

But this movie was just not what I thought. According to this movie, there's always someone (or some men) who controls your present, be it spilling your coffee or witnessing a car crash, to control what is planned for your future. The Adjustment Bureau was there from the start, so we can change our minds and instead go to where we are supposed to be. They change the way we think, the way we see things, and the way things go to achieve their goals as set in the master plan of our lives.

When politician David Norris (played by Matt Damon) ran for senate, it was a hard time for him. He thought he was winning all along. Then down went the votes. After practicing his lines in the Men's Comfort Room, he realized he was not alone. That's how she met Elise Sellas (Emily Blunt), a girl whose free and wild spirit captured his senses. But alas, they're destined only to meet that night. Or is it? Nope, Chuck Testa. They met again when a member of the Bureau, Harry Mitchell, failed to keep him down. So, when the time was stopped, that's when David went inside the conference room and found the other members of the society manipulating the minds of those other people.

And so, I will not spill further details of what the story is, just a little bit of useful and bloggable data. Sorry. ;)

I certainly loved the movie, because it showed how love moves people to do their stuff, against all odds, even fate. That's what I want to absorb inside, the guts to go on and think that fate is so overrated not to let me try.

The only sick concept here is that some men can hold your thought, change it because that was planned. As David said, "What happened to freewill?" I hate the concept that you can't move to what your guts tells you to. You just let fate control you. You have no choice, like it or not, regret it or not, it's meant to be and it's gonna freaking happen. But it gave me also positive outlooks, that if you're meant to be, you will be.

I love the concept of the ending. Just watch the movie because it was worth it anyways. I won't spill it for you. Just one of the last lines said in the movie.

"...free will is a gift you'll never know how to use until you fight for it." This may learn to be a lesson to us. As the old chant says, CARPE DIEM! XD


Saturday, November 19, 2011

The Curse of 11/11/11

Have I told you to be careful what you wish for the last time I posted a blog? Last time I checked, yes I did. Just making sure you did not wish for something stupid. Because 11/11/11 is taking its toll on me.

I wished to see her and have a conversation with her. The whole week I wished for such stupid time. And who knows? I saw her on the mall today. Or so I thought. But I swear to God it was her that I saw. But I'm hesitant to talk. It was in the grocers, and I may not take how my brother might "bug" me and my blushing face. I was just happy I saw her, but I was saddened by the fact that I did not have the chance to hear her voice.

I took it as it was, that it was not yet my time, then my second cousin's cousin (yep, that explains how far cousins we were) started to hit the same girl. I should have told you, he's also a groomsman in the wedding, And also in the game of the improvised Trip to Jerusalem. I did not know he almost had an affair once with her.  Now we move on to the story, leading us to Facebook. And guess who's using the Ad Hominem Fallacy against me to have more points on her? Wow, I could not believe he said that to her publicly. I mean, that's kind of rude for someone to poison the well just to have the girl.

He was just lucky that we went to the church right away after we went to the mall. Because at that time, she was online. Grabe, I did not have a minute for a conversation with her. I only asked for even just a Facebook chat with her. I could have protected her from such douchebag-ness of that cousin. >:|

Everything was just a trial. I must know how to care for her. Maybe one day, she could MIGHT be the one for me. I could not wait for that day to come! I believe she don't deserve those douchebags, she deserves a knight-in-a-shining-armor-to-be. OOOOPS. I'm overstating a fact, therefore it was a fallacy I said. Dayumn. But on the first place, I will not do such to a lady like her, that's what I could assure her if she only knew. Haaaaay....

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Car Fantasies

Since I am turning 21 and my father has loaned another car, it occurred to me that I now want to drive a car. Or in the family's case, I want to own a car. Be it that 2-year-old-but-good-as-new DMax or a new automatic-transmission low ride sedan.

If ever I will inherit the DMax, then fine. But I'd like the interior to have some touch of forest green or onyx black, partnered with a sporty musky frangrance. Then Taz Accessories to wrap it all up. And most especially, no more boring classical and make-you-infertile music, just pure adrenaline-pumping punk and emo-core music (and the latest hits to add). The grayish color of that car is fine, I like it anyways.

But in case they want to sell the poor car which has always been a good companion in our family outings and buy or loan me another, I'd prefer the race car type (e.g. Mitsubishi Lancer EX, Toyota Vios, Honda Civic, Honda City) or the cutie mini car type (e.g. Ford Fiesta, Chery QQ, Honda Jazz, Suzuki Alto). I know this was kind of selfish, but I want to have my own ride, with no one dictating what music I intend to play. I'd like the color green or greenish or black or some color that distinguishes it from other cars ('cause white, black, red and blue are too mainstream LOL). And yeah, they'll have the same accesories and what-have-you's inside.

But if possible, I want the cruise control technology that my father's new car has. And player control in the steering wheel. And the touch-screen display. And back-light color of the buttons would be color green, please. Chrome plating is very necessary. And if there are free vinyls, why not?

And kids, that's how I fantasize about this whole car thingy that's going on inside my head. XD

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Be Careful What You Wish For

I am not against God's will for my life, I actually wanted him to take the wheel and let whatever might happen happen to me. But yeah, I believe also in luck, I mean, what have I got to lose from wishing on a 11/11/11, on the exact time of 11:11:11 am? Even without the date, I always try to catch that time (sometimes it's the pm version of the time I catch) and wish because I want to believe that God, or fate it is for those who don't believe in Him, is actually working out for my wish.

Then came this day, November 12, 2011. At the wedding I attended where I was a groomsman, there goes that "little game" instead of tossing the bouquet and the garter. To make the long story short, I got the bad chance of having the garter. Great, must be the chair. And there goes my partner. I describe her as stunning. With her makeup and all sh!t girls do to their faces (I'm not anti-makeups, just want to judge if the girl is naturally pretty enough). And the ritual happened (oh c'mon, I know y'all know what that is for the bouquet/garter toss, right?).

But you must know that before this game, I was really eyeing on her at the church, and I was like, man, can we be partners please? But then, I let my fate decide whoever of those girls I get to escort, that's why I did not have the chance at first. Until that thing happened.

I was so overwhelmed or just ashamed with my relatives and especially my cousins teasing me. I don't know, IT WAS JUST AWKWARD. Or maybe I was just TORPE SHY TYPE. OKAY! I did not get her number, alright? Now stop teasing.

I tried to think of it as we went home, and I realized I can't get her out of my head since. A feeling I should not feel. Then I remember that wish from yesterday. And I was like, damn, this can of beer might not be enough and I need to have another! And then, I thought of it and I said, yeah screw it, not my day. I tried to see my solo picture while I'm in the ramp. In that picture was a clear capture of her in my back and I thought, meh, coincidence. Until I saw a notification in my Facebook friend request tab. It was her! Damn.

But my brother has got a point. She's just, what? Third Year High School? Or Fourth Year at that? And I was like twenty turning twenty-one. TOO OLD FOR HER. Oh great, now I'm ALL FVCKED UP AGAIN. It was a clear MINDFVCK for me. If really she was the one I wished for, I don't know how we could communicate if I try things out with her. I mean, we are living in, literally speaking, different worlds.

I just got to see her one more time. Not that I abhor love at first sight like I did, but I just want to make sure it was right for us to meet. AND, there goes 11:11 pm. I missed it. (facepalm)

Monday, November 7, 2011

How I Lost My Patience

That was it. I had now lost my patience.

Years and years I was always been patient. I tried to be angry, but my parents always tell me not to. He was of little age at that time. Our gap of 8 years made it harder for me to adjust. So the situation here, the native needs to adjust to what’s foreign. But still I did. I don’t want to fight. It was useless.

Little by little he knows where to get me. Every time he gets me annoyed. I fight back but it’s the guilt that always backs me down. He was my little bro after all. He was just not calm like me, but he is my little bro and he will be.

I tried to set an example to him, to be calm before the storm, and even during it. I tried to show not to talk things with mocking. But in the end it’s what I always receive. MOCKING ME WAS THE WORST THING I DON’T WANT TO HEAR.

12 years passed, and still I was holding out that anger deep inside. Okay, maybe a little bit of that anger may have sparked somehow, but I kept it as far as I could. But when I am trying to do something meaningful and I hear some stupid comment about what I did, I would not know what to feel.

I tried to be as absorbent as I can. For who I am outside, that’s how a silent worker I am when I am in the house. All of their requests, I do without any qualms. For all this time I tried to be the KUYA they wanted to have, but turns out I was not enough.

I just wish somehow they will treat me better, not like everything was my fault. And these tears that fell were not situational. These were for 12 years of confusion, patience, adjustment, taking pains, backed-down anger, lowered pride, and lowered self-value. 12 years that I lost. 12 years of living in a lie, where I was who they wanted to be.

And that kids, was how I lost my patience. With just one wrong thing in what you were doing then you are mocked, I don’t know how you would react.