This Sucks

When you are really trying to be an open book. It sucks. It sucks even more when she won't tell me what's wrong with me. It's been 8 months and we would be on this same problem again. I don't really care if it's a small problem or a big one. What I really care is that it's a problem. How could we even solve bigger problems when she can't even share the smallest of them? She call for her friends for the smallest problems, so most probably she'd call them also for the bigger ones. I don't know, it just hurts when we can talk about it but she opts to talk to anyone other than me.

I hate this feeling. God knows I hate this feeling. Is it trust issues? Is it just me being insensitive to what she might feel? Am I too much of an open book that I am predictable? Or do I need to open more pages of me?

I can't read her sometimes. She doesn't want me to. If ever there was a problem, she opens the other page, the "I'M OKAY" page. How would I know what's the problem? Does she know that it hurts me more when she ask others about what to do with our problems? Seriously they do not know about us. I know there was but I need to know what. I'm not a psychic for me to know what she feels or what triggers that feeling. :'(

CONFUSIONS CLOUD MY MIND. This sucks the most but yes. EMOTE MODE.